Your decisions : Who takes them for you?

Posted on | May 27, 2008 | No Comments

Are you independent? Most of you will say yes. Are you an individualist? Again, I would get a similar answer from most of you. This is because we derive individualism from the superset called ‘Independence‘. An independent person in literary terms is the one who is not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; thinking or acting for oneself. An individual advocates the theory of liberty, rights or independent action. And, that is my question – are we individuals?

We might be independent in literary terms and that is known to every Indian now. I don’t even need to explain why we are independent just on papers, even long after the British Raj has gone. We have all the rights and independence (read pressurized independence) to do what we want – Independence to live anywhere in the country (recall the Bal Thackery and the ‘Mumbai Kiski’ issue), to independence to express (recall the Taslima Nasreen issue), to vote for representative and so on. But, that is subject to the independence you have as a citizen of the country. What about the independence in your personal life? Are you independent in that domain? And, again are you an individualist? Do you take your decisions on your own, independently? I know I’ll see thousand hands up if I ask this question to the crowd. But, just re-think once how many of us actually take these decisions on our own, as individuals and not as independents. What I mean here is that how many of us are not under varied pressures while we are taking decisions for ourselves. Don’t you think of the society before telling your parents about your bf/gf who is from a different religion or a different cast for that matter. The very first question that springs up in mind is  “What would people say?” Do you allow yourself to simply tell your parents that you want to marry this person without caring what society has to say on that? Although, some people would say that they have those guts to let their parents know about their choice. But then, my question is how many of you can go for a live-in relationship living in the same city as your parents? Given a choice most of the youth would prefer such a set-up. The only hurdle for them is Society.

Marriage or these relationship issues come quite late in life. There are yet other important things that frame our lives such as our career or what we want pursue in our life. How many of us have been given enough liberty to opt for the subjects we want to study. Not even the education system that teaches the principles of liberty, independence and individualism gives us enough freedom of choice. Why isn’t a person allowed to study history with accounts. An individual might have an inclination for both. When it comes to choosing our career field again we are bound to take a decision as per our parents’ choice, the society rather. No parents want their child to be anything less than an engineer or a doctor or an MBA. At no chance they would allow their child, son especially, to be a painter or a musician. Reason being these not accepted career options by the SOCIETY and might not churn enough money to live a prestigious life. The reasons are innumerous. But, who the hell is society to decide what a person should do in life? A person needs to be insane, to set on a voyage to discover another America; else he/she would need to suffocate under the expectations of the society.

Would the same society and their members support you in thick times of life? What if despite being a brilliant student I am not able to perform in my job, just because it doesn’t click in my mind. If a man in his mid thirties realizes that he is in a wrong field, and would be satiated if he becomes a painter, does he have liberty to do that? No! Why? Because, as per the society, at the age of 30, you should have a good bank balance, a big house and a car, which might not be possible in case of such a switch-over. The result would be dissatisfaction, which leads to depression.

When would we be allowed rather LEARN to take decisions independently? When would we become individuals in real sense?

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